Who is Duke? Are you a thin, white Duke?

The following is supposedly an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term exam. The answer by one student was so profound that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, ...

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell.

Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.

Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell, because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you , and taking into account the fact that she slept with me last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.

The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct, leaving only Heaven.

Thereby proving the existence of a Divine Being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A"

Oh shit, one OTHER thing. Remember I said how I think that Kim (the bingo girl) was on the Whitey Houston track "I Got Fucked By Liberty Mutual?". Yeah, well I was totally right.

And remember how I said the Nova used to be a beautiful car but then it got ruined when they made it ugly? This month's VICE magazine has an article dedicated to just that. I'M SO GOOD.

I'm basically unstoppable right now. I'm a juggernaut full steam ahead.

Also, I forgot to mention that it's totally blizzarding outside right now.

BTW: It's punk rock SUPER Bingo this Tuesday at New City. By SUPER this means that it's going to be downstairs (instead of upstairs in the likwid lounge), and there's going to be THREE bingo girls instead of one!!! Not only that, but I've totally got the inside scoop and I can tell you in advance that they'll be wearing slutty santa suits which are being sewn as I write. I think you'd be stupid to miss this.

Besides, I'LL be there. What more can you ask for?

You wanna watch that movie sometime during the day??? I gotta work at five, but if we can watch it during the afternoon I'd be totally down. I NEED to see that movie. If this sounds like a plan, give me a call and wake my sleeping ass up so I can get over there and watch it.

Yo, if anyone is interested in watching CRUMB, i have the DVD, but i need to return it to the library pretty soon- it's due monday. but what's a dollar or two eh?
but yeah. i would like to watch it tommorow.

happy holidays kids.

Depends on your definition.

What about pussy? Is that an animal byproduct??? hahaha

Hey Par can you eat swallow's nest? It is a animal byproduct aka swallow spit. It is used to bind the nest together and hold it to cliff faces. So technically you aren't killing a animal, you are just eating their home which is made of spit.