So Randy Ferby comes into Culligan just a few minutes ago, and picks up three bottles of water. First of all he has the gall to come into MY store, and the he gets it for FREE. All because he can curl, and is sponsored by Culligan. WTF?!? Why am I not sponsored by Culligan?
So I say "Ed... AD... get the curling brooms."
"It's time for an old fashioned Furby beating"
And he just stared at me confused.
I stared right back as intimidating as I could... waiting for them to get the brooms.
We stared at each other for what felt like an eternity... David versus Goliath
Then I realized Ed and AD weren't here - I was all alone.
"Way to lose the Briar, Randy, to Nova Scotia of all teams. I'll see you on the ice you pansy-pussy!"
Was what I meant to say...
But I actually said was, "Do you need a hand out with that?"
He said, "sure"
I said, "ok"
So I did... and successfully averted a summer curling brawl - saving it until we can beat him to a pulp as a team, with brooms, on ice.

1337:	y0 d00d, i m 1337! h4xx0rz $upr3m3! i r0X j00! rOFL!
Direct Translation:	Yo, dude, I'm Leet (Elite)! Hacker supreme! I rock you! Hahahaha!
Simple Translation:	Hi. I'm cool, you suck. Haha.
Real Person Translation:	I am a loser, but I think if I type (talk) with non-standard characters, punctuation and grammar, I will be cool. Ha



If you are so inclined, there is the professional sounding entry on Wikipedia, as well as far more irritating http://www.1337.org.uk/. (Of course, Ed's advice is far more useful.)

You should avoid "l337 Sp34k" at all costs Alison. I think I delved into a scary scary world when I even attempted to use it. And that binary doesnt translate to anything...

WTF? I understand... new chat lingo versus binary, and the chat guy's head explodes, but what the hell is he saying anyway?

Oh, and I got a new book: 50 Things You're Not Supposed to Know. including such interesting facts as Bayer manufactured Heroin, SUV manufacturers think SUV drivers are selfish and insecure, the Auschwitz tattoo was originally an IBM code number and...

The US is planning to provoke terrorist attacks. the idea being that they should goad them into making terrorist attacks. So instead of waiting for a terrorist plot to be developed and executed, the US is planning on making it happen. The Proactive Pre-emptive Operations Group, a $100 million team was poropsed by the Defense Science Board in 2002. The idea being that once the terrorists have been provoked (through methods like stealing their money, tricking them with fake communications, perhaps killing family members, or infiltrating groups with provocateurs), they will likely take action "exposing themselves to 'quick response' attacks by US forces." Or, as the book puts it: "In other words, the plan is to hit the hornet's nest with a stick, while waiting nearby with a can of bug spray." Okay... so problems? What about all those hornet bites you're going to sustain? Well... the plan of the Proactive Pre-emptive Operations Group (P2OG) was that they were going to stop the attacks before they actually occurred. hmm... likely? I can't wait until the public realises how at risk they are and fights back...

And... apparently there's a super high risk (like they think it's only a matter of time) that there will be another terrorist attack between now and the US election. The Canadian and American federal governments have warned all their employees about it. And I wanted to go to San Francisco in October... what do you think? Risky?

Sorry Par, don't have the semantics down like you do... I've seen 0wn3d, 0w43d, and pwn3d... but never "pWnZ0rd". I guess that is all beyond me...

And yah youre right, Franklin wasn't a president... I was in a search-for-president-quotes mind-set at the time.

INC^R.EASE YOUR DIC*K WEIGHT ^ yflollcwpj




fuck no!!! shit.

Not to nitpick, Ed, (though that's what I seem to be doing anyway), but it's pWnZ0rd. (Why you have a 4 in there, I'm not entirely sure. But your lack of Z's or the syllable 'Z0r' is unacceptable.)

Also, you may recall, Franklin wasn't a President. Besides, you forget the Bush Doctrine which supersedes Commie-Nazi liberals like Roosevelt and Franklin:


We reserve the right to attack nations and people that harbour terrorists and present a possible threat pre-emptively, and the right to tell people to do as we say, not as we do, and to steal the liberty of our own people to defend their liberty and... uh... where was I? Oh yeah, 9/11, 9/11, 9/11, 9/11.

</rant>

Im confused... these are American Presidents??

Theodore Roosevelt

"To educate a man in mind, and not in morals, is to educate a menace to society."

"The things that will destroy America are prosperity-at-any-price, peace-at-any-price, safety-first instead of duty-first, the love of soft living and the get-rich-quick theory of life."

"To divide along the lines of section or caste or creed is un-American."

Benjamin Franklin

"Those who would give up essential Liberty, to purchase a little temporary Safety, deserve neither Liberty nor Safety."

"When the people find they can vote themselves money, that will herald the end of the republic."

"It is the fist responsibility of every citizen to question authority."


http://quotes.telemanage.ca/quotes.nsf/quotes!ReadForm

Yah, shooting Percy's corpse was a 'little' questionable... but respawning didnt do him any good. He got 0W43D!